Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
