I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
