I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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