hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
