You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I miss vodka workout Fridays
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
