do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
