i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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