What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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