I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Less talking, more tequila
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
