for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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