And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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