guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
