ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
