she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
