Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
