I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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