If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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