On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
