Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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