It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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