is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
