Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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