I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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