Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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