you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize