I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
