all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
