And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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