Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
So much rum. So many feels.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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