I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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