Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize