All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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