Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
