How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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