wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
