When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
