Me too!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
