I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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