Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
