We named our party play list daddy issues
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
