When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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