I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
