Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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