yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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