guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
