Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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