so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
