my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
