OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
