haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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