It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
