I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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