At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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