so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
