people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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