when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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