I just saw a hot homeless man
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
