Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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