how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
